


Illusion

by KikoRush96



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-26 23:09:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2669837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KikoRush96/pseuds/KikoRush96
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam wrote the song for his beloved girlfriend. Well, at least that's what he tells them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Illusion

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. :) xx

Liam clutched his pages, nervously biting his lip as the van pulled into the parking space. It was another meeting to discuss songs that would go on the new album. So far they had seven voted and officially on the album. Liam loved this part of his job, being able to share his hard work with the lads. Just not at that moment.

Liam usually got very personal with his songs, hard not to, but this one was slightly different from his past ones. He got cocky and bold. Plus, he couldn't write anything else down until his head was cleared.

\--  
Liam ran a tired hand through his hair again as he stsred down at the blank page in front of him. He had one line on loop through his head, but nothing else. Julian was fast asleep next to him, snoring loudly. Liam went to go outside for fresh air when his phone rang. Slipping out back, he brought his phone to his ears.

"'Ello?"

"Hey Leeyum. You busy right now?"

Liam smiled to himself, the kind of dopey smile that he never let the boys see. They'd think he was in love. Nonsense. 

"Actually I am needing a break right about now. What's up?"

"See, I have this extra grilled chicken Caesar salad just lying around. I believe it is your favorite. It's just sitting here and I thought I'd try to find it a good home." Zayn's voice was soft as he spoke, making Liam smile harder. 

"Sure Zaynie. I haven't even thought of dinner. Let me jus-"

"Then get over to the door and take it."

Liam let his mouth snap shut as Zayn spoke. He was there? Liam pushed through the door into the lobby. Zayn was leaning against the front desk, chatting with the lady behind it. He was wearing that tight red Henley with his worn leather jacket that Liam sometimes stole, tight black jeans, and his biker boots. His hair was getting longer, now a little past his ears. His smile was bright as he chatted with the lady, tongue pressed between his teeth. 

So maybe Liam was attracted to his incredibly handsome band mate. So maybe no one knew about his feelings. So maybe he had to shove them deep inside so his best mate could live his life without regret or guilt. So maybe he thought of Zayn in the shower, or when he was in bed, or when he wrote songs. It wasn't a big deal. Right?

Zayn met his eyes and smiled brighter, removing his tongue and his lips turning upwards. Liam settled his hand on the back of his neck, a nervous habit he had developed. Zayn nodded to the salad next to him and winked.

"Here you are Payno. One Grilled Chicken Caesar salad. With a mango pineapple smoothie. Side of fruit." Liam gaped at Zayn. How had he remembered Liam's exact order from the one time the two went out to grab dinner for the lads over two months ago? Liam smiled gratefully and popped open his salad. Zayn stole a crouton off the top and happily sipped his own smoothie. 

"So whatcha working on?" Zayn asked after Liam had settled at a small table in the lobby, Zayn across from him. Liam swallowed and sighed. He had forgotten about the song honestly. 

"I'm actually a bit stuck on this one. Like, I can't seem to get more than one line down." Zayn shook his head, a soft smile on his lips. Liam kept his gaze carefully on the wall behind Zayn. 

"But Liam, you always get songs done. Like, it seems to come so easy. And all of them are hits." Zayn grinned while Liam tried to focus on his fork and his salad. Zayn was just so nice.

"Well this one just might not make it by the meeting. I have one line running for me, but that's it Zayn." Zayn grabbed Liam's hand, making Liam splutter a little on his smoothie. Liam looked up at Zayn, who was narrowing his eyes.

"But you're Liam Payne. You can do practically anything. You write hit after hit, you motivate us lads to write better. You taught Niall to play piano, you can wear anything and make it work, you go from boyish and adorable to sexy and manly without a problem. You can sing these notes that make my head spin sometimes, pull out riffs as if it were nothing, sing so low that everyone stops and lets you go, but also hit those high notes like it's the easiest thing in the world. You are caring and smart and-" 

"Zayn calm down." Liam interrupted, eyes wide and face warm. His blush was probably so obvious. It wasn't usually Zayn giving Liam the "you are a miracle an amazing and i cant believe i even know you" speech. That was usually Liam to Zayn.

Zayn looked a tad angry as he stood roughly, dragging Liam to his feet and pulling him into a tight hug. Liam rubbed Zayn's back, though he was sure this was meant to comfort Liam.

"I'm just saying, you can do anything Li." Zayn said quietly against his shoulder. Liam nodded, hand rubbing Zayn's head carefully. 

"You don't ever hear it beause you are strong and always telling us how amazing we are but no one ever tells you. I just wanted you to know that, yeah we appreciate you Liam. A whole lot." Zayn stepped away, cleared Liam's trash, handed him his smoothie, and turned to leave. Liam waved as Zayn looked back before he went out the door. 

Yeah, Liam would be fine. For Zayn, he could figure it out.

\--

Liam took a deep breath, foot tapping restlessly on the floor as the driver opened his door. He stepped out, Nike sweatshirt and plain black sweats blocking the bitter morning air. Why the lads thought meeting in the morning was a good idea Liam didn't know. He and Harry were the only morning people in the band. 

As he stepped inside, the lady at the desk greeted him brightly. Liam handed her a chocolate. He knew they were her favorites. And that it was her birthday. She gasped at the chocolate and the card, which had a gft card to the restaurant down the street. Liam shrugged and moved down the hall. He could hear Harry and Niall laughing, Louis probably telling a story from his nights on the town. He heard a guitar being played and then Niall's loud burp. Idiots. Liam's idiots.

Pushing the glass door open, he balanced the coffees and the tea for Harry as he moved into the room. Louis and Niall jumped up from where they were wrestling on the floor, Harry's eyes comically wide and Zayn paying them no mind, earphone in his ears. Louis snatched his coffee up witout a single word. Niall took his with a quiet thank you. Harry smiled brightly as he took his herbal tea, claiming to be on some new health kick. Zayn had his eyes closed, small smile on his lips as he hummed along to whatever was playing on his phone. Liam nudged him and, when Zayn finally looked at him, handed him his coffee. Zayn nodded and muttered a thanks.

"I'll go first." Harry said, already passing around his song. Liam bit into his breakfast sandwich, starving after his morning workout. Harry then cleared his throat and began to sing the song. 

"Who's this shadow holding me hostage I've been here for days. Who's this whisper telling me that I'm never gonna get away." He sang. Liam loved it, Louis nodding along and Niall smiling brightly. Zayn looked at Harry, eyes thoughtful. When Harry finsished, Zayn called him.

"Harry, could you sing the bridge again?" Harry did so and Zayn looked at each lad carefully. 

"Niall, sing that same part. Just like Harry." Niall did. He wasn't bad, but Niall had always been shit at high notes. Louis went next, with similar results. Liam was quite puzzled when Zayn turned to Harry, and smile on his lips.

"Harry, give that part to Li." Liam gaped at Zayn, confusion clouding his brain. Why? He had thought Zayn was after the part himself. They didn't usually call parts for the other. Liam felt his face warm as each lad gave him a considering look, except Zayn. He looked certain and strong.

"Sing it Li."

After handing out all parts, and going through both Niall (a bust) and Louis' songs, it was Zayn's turn. Liam settled back in his seat, sipping his coffee while Zayn handed out the song. 

"I wrote this about my gir- uh Perrie." Zayn said, almost calling his wife-to-be bis girlfriend. Again. The song was titled 'My British Princess'. Liam felt he was going to throw up royally at the title. He loved Zayn, but this was shit.

"Long dress. Blue eyes. Hands that make me feel alive. Light skin and blonde hair. She makes me sing almost everywhere. Her beauty distracts but her voice grounds. Can't fight this feeling deep inside. Want to care for my british princess tonight." Zayn sang, voice beautiful despite the rubbish flowing from his lips. He looked around expectantly, gaze lingering for no more than a few seconds before her cocked his head, waiting. 

"It was great Zayn..." Louis started. Niall nodded instantly. Harry however didn't look very comfortable. 

"It is great Zayn, but it's too personal. Or maybe too obvious. I don't really feel comfortable singing about your future wife. I'm sorry." Zayn seemed to accept thag as he turned to Liam. Liam agreed with Harry, however, and didn't feel comfortable singing a song so obviously about Perrie. Plus, Liam was into Zayn. No way was he signing a song about her. No matter how much Zayn loved her.

"Sorry Zayn, I agree with Harry on this one. Maybe if it wasn't so obvious it was about her." Zayn's eyes narrowed and he stuffed his song into his bag. Liam felt his heart being squeezed in his chest at the hurt and anger in Zayn's beautiful eyes. 

"Liam, your turn."

Liam passed around his song. He was still nervous about it, but he had to give it a shot. Hopefully no one guessed who it was about.

"So, Julian and I worked on this one together a few days ago. We decided to write it about Sophia and I." Liam lied, ignoring a harsh snort from Zayn. The lads read through the song as Liam prepared to sing. 

"It's not an illusion." Liam finished, cheeks slightly blushed. The boys just stared at him for a moment. Then Harry smiled brightly, clapped his hands, and winked at him. All at once. Louis looked slightly skeptical, Niall was all smiles, and Zayn pouted.

"Liam this is bloody fantastic. Very upbeat but still romantic." Liam smiled brightly at Harry's compliment. Niall laughed and ruffled Liam's hair. Louis smirked while Zayn glared at him. What were they on about now?

"Any parts in mind Liam?" Niall asked, excitement rushing his words together. Liam chuckled and nodded. Thr knew him so well. He adjusted his feet, getting comfortable.

"I figured I'd take the first verse. Then Harry, you take 'But believe me I'm not trying to decieve ya. I promise fallling for me wont be a mistake.'. I'll take up the second verse. Louis, you take the second pre-chorus. Then Niall you take the bridge." They all smiles brightly at him. All except for Zayn.

Zayn looked pissed.

"What, don't want me singing on this track Liam? I mean, you took both verses to ensure no parts were open." Zayn sneered, anger flashing in his eyes. Liam mentally smacked his head. How had he forgotten Zayn? A small voice said he had skipped Zayn on purpose, afraid still.

He chose to ignore that thought.

"No! Actually, I kind of hoped you would like the chorus. And then you do your thing at the end with high notes." Zayn's sneer faded into a twisted frown. His eyes narrowed at the page. Liam hoped Zayn was just learning the words, not puzzling over why he got the chorus or what the song was about.

"So are we going to sing it or what?" 

An hour later and Liam was tired. His vocals strained from singing Illusion, Stockholm Syndrome, and No Control over and over. Harry and Niall were still in love with Liam's song. Louis looked quite smug for some odd reason. Zayn just got up and left, not before flicking Louis off when he thought Liam wasn't looking.

"Leeymo, any plans for the next hour?" Niall asked, eyes bright. Just as Liam went to say no, Louis brought his arm around Liam, smile mischievous and winked. That was not promising.

"Liam and I are going to have....a chat. You guys run along. See you tomorrow." Niall and Harry scurried off, laughing the whole way. Liam looked at Louis, who was now sitting in a chair facing Liam. Liam settled nervously into the couch and sipped his water.

"So Liam, Sophia has suddenly become your muse, eh? That's sweet. Yes, very sweet." While his words may have said that, his mocking tone was making Liam shudder. Maybe he hadn't hid it as well as he had hoped. 

"Yeah. You know better than the others, except maybe Zayn, what that's like." Liam said, playing dumb. Louis' expression darkened instantly.

"Don't you dare hurt him Liam. You don't always know what you do to people, and that's not my problem. You've always been oblivious. Don't think I don't know what's going on Liam." Louis stood and stormed out of the room. 

Liam was more confused than ever. 

\--  
Things seemed to settle down after that. Sure Liam spent more time alone in his bunk or hotel room than usual, but Louis was all bright smiles and loud laughs again. Zayn still seemed miffed at Liam, but he didn't glare at him or avoid him. 

It was a chilly Wednesday. Liam was chilling on the couch in his hotel room, Sophia cuddled into his side. He did love her, but being in love and loving someone were completely different. They were watching a romantic comedy when Liam heard his door open. Only one person had the extra key to his room.

He met Zayn's brown eyes over his shoulder. Zayn froze, 'The Dark Knight' in his left hand and popcorn in his right. Liam blushed when Zayn's gaze flitted over to Sophia, who was now looking at him and smiling. 

Talk about awkward.

Zayn cleared his throat, eyes squinting in a way that Liam knew meant he was holding back tears. Liam jumed up, knocking Sophia over as he chased after Zayn, who was out the door now. Damn it Liam. 

When Liam ripped open the door, and saw Zayn standing outside Louis' door, movie and popcorn abandoned by Liam's door. Zayn looked at Liam, eyes narrowed and a frown on his lips. He pounded on Louis' door again. Liam moved so Sophia could get past him, whispering about texting him later.

Zayn watched her go right as Louis opened his door. Liam shrank back when, after taking a look at Zayn, flipped Liam off and ushered Zayn into his room. His door slammed shut.

\--  
Zayn had been pacing Louis' room for the past hour. Tried on fifteen different shirts. Looked through twenty different superhero movies. Louis had a bad feeling about what he was planning but he couldn't do anything about it. 

"What about this outfit Lou? God I'm so nervous. Why am I nervous?" He spun around and faced Louis, his eyes wide and panicked. Louis shrugged and gave him a thumbs up on the outfit. One they both knew made him look exceptionally hot. It was just a fact. 

"Okay Lou I'll be back in a few. Don't wait up, yeah?" Zayn shouted over his shoulder as he left 

Twenty minutes later and there was a loud pounding at the door. Louis knew it was Zayn. He tentatively made his way to the door. The pounding ensued, causing Louis to rip the door open. He had so many horrible names on the tip of his tongue. All of which died instantly.

Zayn stood before him, eyes down the hall, shoulders tense. Louis leaned out to see what Zayn was staring at. Of course. Of course this is what Zayn was up to. 

Zayn looked at Louis then, as Sophia's figure turned a corner and Liam shifted his gaze to Louis. Louis met Zayn's gaze and his heart hardened at Liam. He pulled Zayn into the room and flipped Liam off. Fuck him.

Zayn crashed onto Louis' bed, sobs escaping his mouth. Louis felt his heart shatter. 

"Sh-sh-she was there Lou. They were all cuddled on the couch watching a romance movie. And I just stood there like an idiot!!" Zayn was sobbing, pulling at his hair and kicking the bed. Louis feels his heart fall apart.

"Zayn..."

\--

Liam collapsed into the couch, mind racing. Zayn had come in, ready to make up, and he had bolted the minute he saw Soph. He had to fix this. He had to show Zayn.

On the bus only a week later, Zayn stood before Liam, Niall right behind with his guitar in hand. Louis and Harry sat on wither side of Liam, though Louis was not speaking to him. Zayn turned the video game Liam was playing off and cleared his throat.

"I stand here with my hand in my pocket and song in my head. Trying to sort through all the things I should have said. And you, so perfect and bright, never failed to make me smile. We just go round and around with no destination in sight. Why can't you see what you mean to me?" Zayn sang. Louis clapped him on the shoulder, smile broad. Liam, Harry, and Nial nodded their approval, ready to make it their next hit. It was catchy, much like Illusion had been. But Zayn shook his head fiercely. 

"It's not for the album. Just trying stuff out." Zayn mumbled, digging out his cigarettes and lighter. Liam grabbed his wrist lightly, apology on his tongue. Zayn just pulled away, soft smile on his lips.

"You may never see. You may never see i guess." Zayn said before turning and going outside. Liam just sat down, confusion making his head hurt.

He just needed to make it up to Zayn. If that meant putting his heart on the line, so be it. He missed Zayn too much.

\--

It was their first night of the On The Road Again Tour. The energy was thrumming through all the lads. They put all their hands in the middle and, with so much passion and energy, looked to Niall as he sang a Selena Gomez song. That's Niall.

The crowd was insane. The cheers deafening. Liam geared up for the first song, smile blazing from his lips. The music for Steal My Girl played around him as his feet danced on their own accord. Harry bobbed along as Zayn sang, while Louis managed to drop his mic. Twice. 

When Illusion had been rehearsed, Liam was careful to keep his face blank, emotions in check, and eyes straight ahead. The boys had sang with such conviction, putting their hearts into it. Even Zayn.

This was different.

As soon as Liam's lines came, he moved towards the audience, full of energy and nerves. As Harry sang his lines, Liam searched the stage for Zayn. A fan threw a bracelet on stage (why they did that he wasn't sure) and he bent over to pick it up. Zayn was a cross the stage, walking beside Louis, smile bright and warming Liam. 

"No baby this is not an illusion. I really got my heart out on my sleeve. Oh baby this is not an illusion. There's magic between you and me." Zayn sang, voice perfectly catching the notes, eyes on the crowd. Liam needed to hurry. It was almost his turn to sing.

He wrapped his arm around Zayn as he finished his line. Zayn stiffened slightly, though the smile stayed on his face. Probably for the crowd. Liam felt sick.

He stuck the bracelet in Zayn's hand as he sang the second verse, meeting Zayn's eyes. He poured his heart out in those lyrics, wondering if anyone watching could see it was for Zayn. All of it. The whole song.

Zayn walked away. Moved over to Harry, laughing when Harry made a face to Zayn while Louis sang. When the second chorus came, Liam had his arm on Zayn's waist, harmonizing with him. Zayn's voice slipped. He couldn't quite hit the nkte right as Liam looked him in the eyes, singing the lyrics to Zayn.

Liam cried.

Night Changes cued up in the background. Liam couldn't handle another romantic song. He fled the stage for a drink. He needed to clear his head. Needed to be away from Zayn. 

The show eneded without a hitch with What Makes You Beautiful. Liam sang the first verse to Zayn, like he had on the last tour. Zayn simply nodded along, face pinched in a weird expression.

"Liam, what the hell man? What was that?" Zayn asked backstage, hands thrown up in exasperation. Liam shyly fiddled with his shirt. He and Zayn needed to be alone.

"What do you mean? I sang and danced like usual. What's your deal?"

"Umm...singing those lines to me. Do you like messing with me or are you just a prick?" Liam was flabbergasted. 

"I always sing to you Zayn." Zayn's face fell then, the anger turning into defeat as he turned away, whipping a cigarette from his box and shoving the door to the alley with so much force, it slammed against the brick wall outside. Liam flinched.

Harry put a hand on his shoulder then, eyes sympathetic. 

"Liam, you need to tell him. This is just silly."

"I know. I will. Soon." 

\--  
"I always sing to you Zayn."

Zayn couldn't help the pain in his chest. The way tears pricked behind his eyes. He hadn't meant to sound upset with Liam for singing to him. He was confused and doubtful. He just wanted answers. 

Apparently Liam meant nothing when he sang those lines to him. Just feeding the audience. Just putting on a show. No feeling for Zayn. Not truth.

He smoked through two more cigarettes before the door opened and Louis stepped out. 

"What was that Zayn? That was your chance and instead of finding out how Liam feels, you act like a petulant child and then storm off." Louis was slightly angry, mostly annoyed though.

"I got my answer Lou! He doesn't mean anything. That song is about Sophia. I feel like an idiot. Thinking he was singing it to me. Meaning every stupid word that his stupid voice sang to me." Zayn kicked the ground roughly. 

"I wrote a song for him. Sang it to his face. He didn't get it Louis. Didn't even bat an eye. Just smiled at me and voted for it." Zayn felt a tear fall from his eye. 

"Zayn, you have to tell him. Liam's an idiot and oblivious. You know this." Zayn nodded, breaths shallow.

"I will Lou. Soon."

-

Louis was running out of patience. After that last show, Zayn had crawled into his bed, eyes watery and apologetic. After Zayn had settled into Louis' arms, grumbling about them not being warm enough, he knocked out like a light. 

And that was fine with Louis. They all did that at some point. Have a breakdown and need to cuddle at two in the morning.

But Zayn continued to come to his room really late at night weeks after that concert. Weeks of Zayn shyly shuffling over to Louis' bed and whimpering out a please.

So yeah, Louis was a little annoyed.

Harry sat before him, Niall to his left. They needed to fix Zayn and Liam. 

"So what are we going to do. Liam is too afraid to tell Zayn the damn song is about him. And Zayn's too afraid of scaring Liam away to tell him he's in love with him and that he helped Ed write 18 about Liam." Harry surmised. Louis and Niall nodded, both throwing glances to the bus bunks where Liam and Zayn slept.

"What is we just sat them down and made them admit it?" Louis suggested. Niall chuckled, but shook his head. Harry sighed.

"It won't be that easy Lou. We shoud try something...bigger." Niall rubbed his chin. Louis crossed his arms.

"Well, we've done this once before remember? We just need to do lyric changes." Niall supplied. Harry shook his head.

"They won't fall for that. They are too afraid and angry at each other. What if we just locked them in a room together? Like Louis' idea, but we leave them alone?" The three looked at each other. 

That just might work.

-

Zayn hadn't felt so alone int he four years with the boys. Sure he hung with Louis and Niall, but they treated him like he was fragile. They would cough and blush if Liam's name left their lips. Zayn was a big boy. He could handle his crumbling friendship. 

He fiddled with the sleeve of the shirt he was wearing, a large red paid flannel that he knew was Liam's. In fact, Liam had worn it only the other day. Still smelled like him.

Zayn felt alone as he sat through dinner with Harry and Niall. As he played FIFA 13 with Louis. As he read his favorite book in his bunk. As he glanced over to where Liam usually sat, brows knit together as he puzzled through a new song. He just felt alone.

He invited Perrie to their next concert. 

Sure it was mostly becasue her album was coming out soon so she needed to be promoted, but she was his best friend. Well, after Liam. She knew more than the boys. She would make him feel better.

Zayn still crawled into bed with Louis. Except for one night. 

He had gone out and gotten smashed. He was so messed up over Liam. No amount of flirting or drinking could erase the way Liam had looked at him when he sang the lines of song after song to him. Those eyes. That voice. 

Zayn stumbled into the hall and made his way to room 4B. He slammed into it hard, too out of it to stop himself. The door opened slightly, then fully, to reveal a very shirtless Liam. A very worried, shirtless, Liam. Zayn felt his tummy flip.

"You wearing shirts should be a crime. Like seriously." Liam made a face before grabbing Zayn (Liam's) shirt and dragging him in. It smelled like Chinese. And Liam.

"Zayn, go lay down. Time for bed, yeah?" zayn nodded and crawled into the unmade bed Liam had obviously been sleeping in. He heard Liam sigh and start to crawl into the other bed.

"Liii...come over here." After what seemed like hours, Zayn almost asleep, he felt the bed dip and Liam settling down for bed. Zayn still felt the distnce and, to his drunken mind, he hated it. 

"C'mre Li." He mumbled, wrapping arms around Liam's waist. Liam seemed to grumble something, but Zayn was slipping into unconsciousness. He reached out towards Liam, blindly trying to bring him close (he was cold okay? And Liam was like a thermal blanket.) He started to panic, in his drunken haze, flailing his arms and whimpering. A warm arm wrapped around his waist, tugging him into a broad chest (yes, still shirtless) while another ran through his hair. Zayn instantly stopped moving and curled into the warmth that was his best mate. Too drunk to care, he sighed in relief and let sleep crash into him.

\--

A week went by and Liam and Zayn had seemingly decided to ignore each other. One morning, Liam was sitting with Niall at the table eating cereal and chatting about a golf tournament on the telly the previous night before. When Zayn walked in, hair messy from sleep and eyes droopy, Liam abruptly stood, effectively interrupting Niall's golfing story, and practically threw his bowl into the sink before leaving the room completely. Then that evening, Zayn and Louis were playing Call Of Duty, affectionately cursing each other out and laughing when Liam had entered the room, music blaring from his new earbuds. He was swaying his hips a little, mumbling the words to some Chris Brown song. Zayn had practically fled from the room, leaving Louis a little more than frustrated. 

Louis demanded plan "Get Liam And Zayn To Admit Their Stupid Feelings Before Louis Kills Them" (Louis' exact words) be put into action. Harry tried to argue that they needed to do it on their own, but Louis and Niall had both had enough. 

Liam was innocently writing in his song book when Harry plopped down on the bed, looking sorry and guilty. Liam knew this look well. There was trouble brewing. A kind of trouble only Louis Tomlinson could cause. He threaded his fingers in Harry's hair, ready to comfort Harry. 

"Liam, promise me you won't hate us. I tried to tell Louis but he's stubborn." Liam narrowed his eyes. This didn't sound good.

"Harry..." Liam cut off when he heard Zayn's angry voice through the bus, sounding like a big cat that zookeepers were trying to force into a cage. He gulped, glancing at Harry, before closing his book. This would be bad.

"Louis you better let me go RIGHT NOW! So help me i will stick every fancy drawing pen I own in your eye right now if you don't release me! LOUIS STOP! DON'T- STOP YANKING MY SHIRT LOUIS! IT'S LIAM'S AND IF I RUIN IT HE'LL- OF COURSE I'M WEARING IT YOU TWAT!" Liam winced as Zayn's voice rose, rage apparent in his voice. He couldn't exactly look over the fact that Zayn was wearing his shirt and that he was being careful with it. Still...

Louis finally yanked the door open, shoved Zayn inside, pulled Harry out, and slammed it shut. Zayn was on the floor, clutching his knee and glaring at the door. Liam cautiously got up and approached him. 

"Hey. You okay? Louis isn't exactly the most caring or gentle, eh?" Liam said, trying to joke to lighten the mood. Zayn just snorted and stood slowly, grunting softly. Liam watched as he settled in an arm chair by the door, looking extremely pissed. Liam couldn't blame him. 

"So....now what?" Liam asked, hoping Zayn would talk to him. But Zayn simply glared at the wall. Liam sighed.

"Look Liam, as much fun as sitting in a room after you've been forced into it by your ex-mate to be with someone who barely looks you in the eye is, I have stuff to do." Zayn settled onto the floor. Liam considers what Zayn has said, ideas sparking in his eyes. 

"Zayn, i know why we are here. I have to tell you something. Please, don't hate me okay?"

\--

"Zayn, I know why we are here. I have to tell you something. Please don't hate me okay?" Zayn wasn't sure what this meant, but at least Liam was talking to him again. Why would Liam ever think Zayn could hate him. Quite the opposite actually. 

"Sure Li. What is it?" Wow, Zayn hadn't used that nickname is over a week. Zayn watched as Liam smiled, the wide smile that Louis dubbed 'the Zayn Smile'. Zayn's lips quivered, wanting spread into a wide smile.

"It's about....us. Things have been kinda weird, yeah?" Liam rubbed the back of his neck. Zayn nodded, cocking his head to the side. He followed Liam so far. Where was this going? Zayn couldn't help but feel hope bubbling up.

"Yeah." Liam nodded, shifting his hands. Zayn knew that was his nervous tick. This should be interesting. Hopefully, in a good way.

"So...uh, did Louis mention anything when he was throwing you in here?" Liam asked, eyes on the floor. Zayn, a little confused, crossed his legs.

"Yeah. He said that this is for my own good. He said that he was sick of my crap and that if I didn't come talk to you, he'd shave my eyebrow off." Zayn said, rolling his eyes at Louis' dramatics. Liam chuckled for a moment, meeting Zayn's warm gaze. 

"Yeah. Anyway, random question but, uh, what exactly did you think of "Illusion'? Like, really think. Don't lie Zayn." Zayn stiffened at the name of that song, hating that a song that Liam, sweet and sensible Liam, brought that rection out of him. That feeling of anger pooling in his belly, taste of bile in his mouth, the stiffened muscles and clenched jaw. Zayn hated that the song made him that way. He looked at Liam, wondering if it was clear on his face how he felt. Liam's features were strangely emotionless, eyes calm and trained on Zayn.

"Honestly? Honestly, I like the song. It's great really." Liam opened his mouth to argue, eyebrowns knitted together, but Zayn held up a hand. It was time to be honest for once. It was now or never for this.

"But, I hate what the damn song is about. I hate that you sang it to me when really you had Soph in mind when you wrote it. I hate that the song you were most proud of was one i couldn't help but hate. I'm your best mate. I should always support you and instead I pushed you away and couldn't get over my own petty feelings. I felt so guilty and ashamed but I couldn't help it Li." Zayn stood suddenly, making his way over to the open window. He looked out at the beautiful day. Perfect day for his friendship to fall apart. He knew Liam would try to fix it, try to blame himself, but Zayn knee better. 

"Zayn? Zayn, what do you mean petty feelings?" Liam's voice was very quiet. Zayn closed his eyes and sighed. Here goes nothing. 

"Liam, sometimes I sit alone and think 'God it would be nice to get Liam that watch he was looking at yesterday' and then I actually consider calling up the store but then. Then I would imagine how I would give it to you. I would imagine myself getting it in a beautiful velvet box, put on my dress shirt that makes me look like a millionaire, and asking you to come to my hotel room through a note. Then we'd go out and have a beer in the pub and I'd give yout that beautiful watch. And then, in the middle of my daydream, you'd walk in, phone to your ear, singing your praises to her, and my perfect scenario would be ruined by her." Liam looked a little surprised. Zayn hadn't meant to say all that. At least he had the mind to stop before he revealed that Liam usually interrupted his daydreams during more....intimate moments. Yeah, good thing.

"Oh...OH. Zayn I....i think I have to tell you." Liam pauses, closing his eyes and puring his lips.

"Zayn. I wrote Illusion that day you brought the salad and smoothie to the studio for me. Sophia had called asking how everything was going and we ended up talking about you. Julian had fallen asleep so, after hanging up with Soph, i was able to finish the song." Zayn sat on the bed, eyebrows screwed together. What was Liam talking about? 

"Zayn...Illusion isn't about Soph and I. She's my friend and the person I go to to talk about personal things. But I'm not in love with her. Not even close." Liam smiles a little, hand runnng in his hair. Zayn glares at Liam for a moment. Neither spoke for a second. Then Zayn leaned against the door frame. 

"Oh." Zayn still wasn't sure who it was about. Liam glanced out the window Zayn was looking out of, chin hooked over his shoulder. Zayn blinked out the window.

"Well whoever it's about is very lucky. And actually I have to tell you something too. It's about...a song I wrote. Well, two songs actually." Zayn turned to face his best mate in the whole world. The boy he's been in love with since about eighteen. Liam looked like he wanted to interupt, eyes wide and mouth open, but Zayn hushes him. Liam, just a smidge taller than Zayn, bowed his head to look into Zayn's eyes.

"Songs? What songs Zayn?" Zayn chuckled, eyes lowering to where his fingers were picking at a button on Liam's flannel. He swallowed slowly before flicking his gaze up to meet Liam's. 

"Um...Eighteen and then the song I sang to you on the bus." Liam narrowed his eyes thoughtfully at Zayn, lips pursed. Zayn settled his gaze on his hand, which was now tracing a pattern on Liam's chest. He probably should stop touching him, but Liam wasn't complaining. 

"Eighteen? Zayner, that was written by Ed. He said that it was inspired by a relationship he had a few years ago." Liam scrunched his face, thinking hard. Zayn had to stop him before Liam jumped to conclusions. 

"I told Ed not to tell anyone. I-i didn't want the attention or questions i would get. Honestly, it was hard to not tell you. I did tell Perrie, but only because she's quite insistent. We're pretty good friends you know." Liam's eyes widened, surprise flickering in his gaze. Zayn held his gae before smiling softly and looking away.

"I, um, kinda inspired Eighteen. Ed and i were talking, kind of similar to your story actually, which is pretty ironic. Anyway, we were just talking and we ended up talking about you a bit. I told him practically my whole life story and then he wrote Eighteen." Zayn looked towards the door, hating Louis more than ever, and yet wanting to kiss that boy on the cheek and hug him because maybe this was going somewhere. Liam was smiling softly. 

"The song I sang on the bus...was about someone who is just so oblivious to how I feel, i feel like it can't be on accident. Like, how do they not know what they're doing?" Zayn pulled away from Liam and the window, sitting in the couch by the door. Liam followed him.

"Well, that person needs to wake up and look around because you're amazing Zayn. You deserve the best." Zayn sighed. Liam still didn't get it. 

"Yeah I know this person pretty well. They probably need me to tell them straight out. Like-" Suddenly, there was a loud bang against the door, scaring Liam and Zayn. Damn it Louis.

"Oh for fucks sakes! Zayn, tell him the songs are about him and Liam tell him Illusion is inspired by him and how you feel and bloody make out already! Christ, how long will you dance around it you pricks?" Zayn galed at Liam, who was blushing madly but gaping right back. Illusion could not be about Zayn. 

"Oh, and Zayn stole several of your shirts and wore them for the week you were ignoring each other. Might even have gotten off in them or with them but I'm not sure. And Harry says Liam smoked way more, sometimes just burning a cigarette to 'Pretend Zayn was there with him'. Bet he got off to that, Leeymo?" Zayn glared at the door. He did not get off in Liam's damn shirts. Okay, so he did to the scent in his shirts, picturing them being used to bind Zayn and...yeah he shouldn't continue that though. Liam was blushing madly, looking like he might kill Louis. 

"So...?"

"So?" Liam looked at his hands, licking his lips. Zayn was shocked.

"Liam, Lou is right. About the songs, yeah? Lke, they're about you." Liam looked up sharply, eyes wide. Zayn winced. Louis didn't always know everything. Maybe Liam hadn't written it about Zayn kr his feelings for Zayn. Just as Zayn was about to leave, Liam was in his lap. He cried out in surprise, staring up at the usually shy and sensible Liam Payne. 

"Yeah Illusion is about you too babe. You and I...we are magic, yeah. You make me feel so many things Zayn. God if I'd known you felt the same, if I hadn't been so stubborn...." he nibbles on Zayn's jaw, grinding their hips together. Zayn just gasped. Gasped and ran his hands over the strong body in his lap. 

"Yeah...you're a bit- do THAT again babe -oblivious Li." Zayn runs his hands under Liam's shirt, knowing he'll find strong muscles there. Liam bit Zayn's lip, running his hands through Zayn's fantastic hair. 

"Are you twats snogging yet?? Oh gross they are! Harry, you owe me twenty pounds." Zayn chuckled as Louis left the door, leaving them truly alone. Instead of taking it farther, like Zayn really wanted, Liam glanced at him shyly before standing. 

"Do you want to see what I was working on before all this?" Zayn nodded eagerly, standing and following Liam to the bed. Liam shyly handed over the book, open to the page.

"Liam....what-what is this?" Zayn read through each line, every word. 

"I was actually coming up with a 'Please Forgive Me Because I'm A Twat And I Miss You So Mhch' gift before Louis decided to force us together. I'm not much of a writer but I thought you would appreciate it. It's the thought that counts after all." Zayn felt tears welling up in his eyes. Liam had about three pages a poetry. All about Zayn. Liam was glancing between Zayn and the notebook, nervously biting his lip. 

"Liam, this is the most amazing thing you could ever have...wow." Zayn breathed, reading every word over and over again. 

"So Zayn, do you believe in love? 'Cause it's definitely not an illusion to me babe."

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any spelling errors or ommited letters. Not edited fully. Kudos and comments appreciated. Thanks!! xx


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